The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
