you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
