I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
