pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
