I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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