he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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