And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
