If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
whose parrot is this?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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