operation harelip BJ is a go
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
