im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
