Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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