My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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