Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
