would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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