Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
