I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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