You really coming over, don't trick.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
