Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
