I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
