Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
