you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
