yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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