I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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