she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i think my cat just said my name.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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