I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
