I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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