It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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