dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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