D3 body, D1 cock
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
