Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
