Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
