Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
