you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
