Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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