well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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