p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
