White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
