If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I need moral support for this bender
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
