Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
