You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
