great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
