oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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