they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
