we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
