Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
