In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
