Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
