3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
