I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
