I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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