dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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