Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
