Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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