can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
