come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
