what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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