I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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