i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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