is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
