I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
