She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
