my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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